7 Reasons NOT to Be My Boss

This isn’t for everyone. Actually, it’s not for most people, even most people who follow or believe in my work. And I don’t want any of you beautiful humans reading this to get the wrong idea.

Following are several compelling reasons you should not, under any circumstance, be my boss.

In all sincerity, and with kindness and compassion, please don’t be my boss if…

1. The dollars will make it difficult for you to make ends meet.
   Don't financially stretch yourself to pay me me to work. Please. This will make me incredibly sad, which is likely the opposite of what you're trying to accomplish. If you have to think twice about what you're choosing to pay me, I implore you to either pay me less, or don't do it at all.
2. You need a life free from controversy.
   Everything I do is controversial, to someone, somewhere. I am, as a matter of personhood, controversial, being the person with the social identities I have doing the work I do. I don't welcome controversy, nor do I seek it, but it is, unfortunately, my water.
3. You're expecting more of the polished, filtered, finished-product version of myself.
   I have a hard enough time living up to the public-figure-ish parts of my life for the public, so I don't have the emotional reserves to do so with you. Instead, expect a lot of raw, flabbergasted, and dismayed.
4. You're expecting me to create a bunch for you.
   Everything I make is offered in the spirit of the gift, uncopyrighted, and/or freely accessible. I create for global justice. Now, I will absolutely be reporting to you, filling you in on what I'm doing, and seeking guidance. But I won't be spending most of my time working on things for you; you're employing me to make things for the world.
5. Our values are in direct, antithetical, unresolvable conflict.
   This could come from a lot of directions, but the two I'm guessing are most likely are "social justice" and "dogma." I believe in social justice as a reflection of the more beautiful world we could live in, and everything I do is in spirit of that actively moving us toward that. I won't budge on that. However, I am actively challenging the social justice dogma, and don't see myself backing down there either. Both of these might be deal-breakers. And that's okay! Let me know if you want to chat about it.
6. You don't want to celebrate wins AND commiserate losses.
   When something we create makes a positive splash, I'll be turning to you for high-fives. Meanwhile, when something else we made is burning down, I'll be turning to you for a fire blanket. If either of these will rub you the wrong way, we ain't gonna rub the right way.
7. Ambiguity makes you uncomfortable.
   This is a new experiment, and I'm not entirely sure how it'll go. We'll be figuring it out together. That's really exciting! If you disagree, well, uh, I have a mailing list.

Applied more broadly, you could take these as provisos for not employing (or becoming the patron of) any stranger on the internet, but I’ll let you sort that out with them.

I just hope you’ve read this before you sign on the dotted line with me.